Blog:
Heart for the Nations: A’s experience

Posted by Will
on 30th October 2024

Church in my nation: The official religion is Orthodox Christianity, but very few people are practising Christians, and people don’t share that they go to church; it’s not something you proudly say about yourself. It feels like a very quiet religion - there is no talk about missions and no attempts to spread the word. It is also not a community style church, and a Sunday service is a lot more ceremonial and formal. The loss of active belief has a lot to do with the socialist ideology. You are not supposed to believe in God, you are supposed to believe in the Leader.

How did you come across The Oak: We came for the first time when I had only three weeks to go before my due date. Barbara and Brian were at the door and the warmth they gave us felt so family-like, as if they were my own grandparents. We sat at that first service right behind a family, and they had J who was 15 months at the time, so we started talking about family. B felt so completely ‘normal’, so happy and smiley, and talking to her was so easy that I never even questioned coming back to The Oak. I just knew I found the people I wanted to stick around. When I gave birth, the church organised a meal train for us which just felt surreal, that all these people I barely know bring homemade food to our house. I am forever grateful to everyone who was a part of that, because it just showed me that these were the people I could always count on, who would take care of you so selflessly. I never felt judged at The Oak, but accepted. I felt a little like an outsider until completing the Alpha Course.  An amazing transformation happened organically through spending time with beautiful people, seeing the community building and wanting to be part of that. I think if I ever did one thing right in my life it would be coming to The Oak two years ago.

What do you like about being part of the family? I absolutely love the tight community group and the feeling of belonging. As an immigrant, I thought I’d never feel like that in a country other than the one I was born in, but I definitely do feel like that in The Oak. I love seeing the same people multiple times a week at different events like Connect Café or Play and Pray.  I love the deep conversations we have about God. I love the values people hold and I love how the children are raised. I love that I always have an army of people ready to help at any moment; someone is always available to pick you up from somewhere in an emergency or to babysit your child. And I love simply being me around these people and feel loved and seen and accepted. It fascinates me how quickly and deeply you can learn about a person through reading and discussing the Bible together.

What emotions or thoughts arose for you when you saw news about the conflict that is happening in the world? I feel enormous guilt and shame, even though I am not directly involved. It pains me to see all the death and destruction that takes place at the hands of my government. At the same time there is a desire to distance myself from it because I feel powerless.  I certainly feel absolutely horrible when I meet a Ukrainian person. Often, the guilt and shame are so much that I don’t even admit I’m Russian when faced with a Ukrainian, especially if they are men. 

I met a lady at a playground once who was a Ukrainian war refugee, and her son heard me speaking Russian to my daughter and said a couple of words back. As is typical of playground exchanges, we had a small conversation about kids, and then I just felt like I had to mention the elephant in the room, so I told her that I was really sorry for everything, to which she responded, to my surprise, that I had nothing to be sorry for. It was not me doing all those things. I sort of expected her to get angry and shout something nasty. We then shared a hug, she cried, I cried, she told me that she can’t hear a plane flying without feeling scared that it’s another aerial attack. I felt this extremely heavy grief for what is happening, for all the meaningless suffering, all the people having to flee their home, all the death. 

How we can pray for A: Let’s pray for A to feel free from any sense of guilt and shame, for her to know she is loved by our church family and loved by God. Let’s pray that Jesus, who takes the shame and guilt from us all draws near to A at this time, releasing any sense of shame, responsibility, or guilt - we pray for peace, joy and love to bless A. 

Thank you, A, for sharing!

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